The Only Thing I Fear Is Fear Itself or finding a jungle cat in my bathroom!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Maryanne Williamson

My biggest fear used to be ending up alone. Not alone in the single not dating sense, but alone in the world without family, without friends, without love, and without hope. As I've grown older I've had to face this fear because family, friends, love and sometimes even hope have all slowly dwindled at one point or another in my life. At my lowest point I had a choice; keep moving or give up! As hard as it has been I've kept going. There were are days when I don't want to wake up, when I don't want to try anymore, and where I feel like it's just too much for me. And then there are those days where I feel like it has all been worth it.
It has been hard trying to find a balance or even tipping the scale to a point where the good would outweigh the bad days. I find myself constantly questioning my choices, wondering if in the end I'm going to end up happy or if I'll finally find that place where I belong. So much has changed for me both for good and some bad in the past years, handling these changes has been quite the challenge. I'm not as secure as I used to be, not as confident in the choices I make or in myself and I'm not sure where that person I used to be went or if it's even possible to find her again.
I know that we can never go back to the person we were, but I would like to atleast get back the sense of self that I once had. I'd like that confidence again, that arrogance I once held, not in a bad way, but that sense of knowing that I was good enough to be here, to be seen, and to be heard. I want to lead by example so that my daughter can grow up wanting what I have and not wishing and hoping that she doesn't end up like me. Something needs to drastically change...I need to let go of this fear that I will fail, or else I will!