I Can't Breathe!

I feel like crap today, woke up late this morning & I guess I got up on the wrong side again cause everything is out of wack! I hate this feeling, I'm tired of it. My chest feels tight, my head hurts and the anxiety is overbearing. I just want a break from school, from work, from people, from heart ache, from life, from everything! I wish I knew what direction my life was going in, if I'm headed down the right path or if there's a detour that I need to take before it's too late. I wish I didn't have to go through this alone, wish there was someone there to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay. I wish I could tell myself that I'm good and believe it, wish I could be the one to put smiles on other's faces because I would be true and be there and I wouldn't play with the bullshit like others do. Wish I was the one being told you're beautiful because I would appreciate the compliment. I wouldn't play with people's emotions and make them think that I was in it, when I wasn't. I guess time will teach them the lessons they need to learn, the lessons that show you that beauty fades and people disappear and when you are left all alone the only person that can pick you up is you. I wish this lesson was over for me because I feel like I've learned all there is to learn. I know that I can do it by myself, been doing it that way forever...I want to know what it feels like to be carried, to have help, to share opinions, beliefs, stories, memories...