This might be a little too much of my business out there for the blog, but what the heck it's my page and I'll write what I'm feeling dammit! After 2 years, 10 months, and 20 days the child support issue is set! I completed my end of the filing process and now we just wait to see what his reaction will be! Part of me is scared, another part is relieved and yet another part is a bit sad. The thing is, I didn't want it to get to this point. I never wanted to be that chick with the kid by that guy who didn't give a fuck! I went through so many emotions when I began this process and had to really give myself the talk. I was ashamed when I walked through those doors that first day and felt like wow, this isn't me! I'm not some ghetto, uneducated, woman who just sleeps around or depends on the govt. to take care of her kids. After my thoughts hit me, I immediately had to check myself! While there are those who do fit that description the truth is that you could be the freaken queen of England and may still need to file for child support. It's not a black thing, or a white thing, or a ghetto thing it is a That's Life Thing!
I was walking around with a chip on my shoulder saying I'm too good for this, when the reality of the situation is that I wasn't, obviously! I'm not married, had a baby out of wedlock, the father decided he'd rather not be involved and I was left alone to do what I had to do! So many women who have had to file child support get a bad rep because everyone automatically assumes that she is trying to get back at that man and be spiteful. I must admit, I used to think that way because I know some men who are being used by these women and are being fucked by the system.
But then there are the exceptions, there are those women who have tried to give a million and one chances and have tried to work things out and have been patient. All they wanted was for that man to be a father, for that man to say this is my child, this is my responsibility, let me call them, take them out, buy them some clothes, feed them and give mommy a break! In 2 years,10 months, and twenty days I haven't gotten anything, but this is not about me! My daughter, the beautiful face that I look at everyday, the eyes that are big and round just like his has never felt any love from him. To this day I don't know how he goes to sleep everynight, I don't know how he wakes up without her on his mind and I don't know why he doesn't care. What I do know is that he is missing out on the greatest person that life has ever seen! In a few months I'll know the court's decision and no matter what they decide, no matter how much he has to pay, there is one thing that he'll never be able to afford and that's the 2 years, 10 months and twenty days he missed out on for being a jerk!
No comments:
Post a Comment