Memories

I remember the first time we met...I thought you were cute, but a bit silly and I wrote you off as just another voice in the land of many voices. It was my first time in college, the new girl and I felt like the Panda in the zoo, everyone was staring, amazed at the Island girl, but wondering what the hell does a Panda do anyway?  I was still in love with the narcissist and he was in love with everyone else but me. I remember how hard it was to leave him, how I cried and felt pains I never felt before, how I thought my life was over. How young of me, I had no idea it was just beginning.

I remember how I almost didn't get to meet you because I was placed in the wrong apartment and when I was told I could move, I kinda didn't want to because my new roommate was the loud girl on bus that morning. Good thing I didn't have a choice. Loud girl became my friend, and Brooklyn, The Drama Queen, The Mama Bear and you. They've all gone their ways, but you always remain.

Do you remember our first date? I was so nervous, it was Valentines and you gave me the kissing bears, I still have them. We caught a movie, hung out at the grocery store for some weird reason and talked. I remember I laughed a lot, that made it a great date.  We didn't date long, decided we were better off as friends and that was that. I was jealous of your new friends, thought they were pretty, but they didn't know you like I knew you.

I remember we fought a lot after that. I cried a lot, not really because you made me cry, but because I didn't want anyone in my life but you. You gave me space when I needed it, hugs when I craved them, and prayed with me when I had doubts. You had no idea that by being you, you made me love you more. Here's a man that's fine, secure with who he is and has no problem letting you know that he puts God first. Then you left...

I knew then I had to move on, I dated a few, Mr. Wrong, Mr. Insecure, never anyone important enough to make me forget you. Never anyone important enough to make me want to remain their friend. My number has changed so many times, yours is still the same...I can always call on you. We were both living our lives, but still kept each other in the loop. Then you left again...

I met someone, I think I loved him once, not sure about it now because I hate him so much. You told me in order to truly be happy I have to forgive, one day I will, today is not the day. I had a baby with the Counterfeit, the most beautiful face I've ever seen. I've never had any regrets, but most days I wish she was yours. You were there those nine months, made fun of my waddle, said I was cute. You loved, love, miss her...He didn't, doesn't, dissed her! 

I remember the day I left. Never really thought about how much things would change until you took us to the airport and we cried. I never knew how much I would miss you even more now that we are so many miles apart. Even now I call on you everyday, can't imagine not being able to do that. Can't imagine my life if I had never met you.

I remember how much you mean to me. How much I kneel at night and pray that you will live out your dreams and be happy. How much I hope that I can be like you and take chances and never give up and never be sad for to long because life, well it keeps moving. And I hope even when time has taken over and age has begun to set in, I hope that when I'm older and gracefully gray, no matter where life takes me, I hope that I'll never forget...

Nana-